failing?

As a friend reminded me tonight, this too shall pass.... I sure wish it would pass sooner rather than later.  Let's just say that if either of my first two babies would have been like this new baby, wow, well this new baby wouldn't be here.  He is tough.  Just tonight I endured 4 hours of screaming before he would finally fall asleep.  -yes, I had burped, fed, changed, etc-  Hunter is by far my most difficult baby. First of all he requires being held pretty much 24/7.  This week I have managed to get him to take about a 2 hour nap in his bouncy seat or swing, score!  Tonight though, wow, I have never felt more defeated as a mother.  Hunter finally fell asleep, aka passed out from complete exhaustion.  Me? Well I of course immediately looked for someone to share a beer with after that disaster of an evening.  Where did it get me? Sitting on my back deck, alone, just me, my Bud Light and Pandora.  Heads up to my friends, when I text you saying I need a beer, that is cue for you to come to my rescue.  Whether you're in bed or not, that is my way of reaching out for someone to help pull me back up from my self pity!  Remember all those times in the last year that you called me at 3am to come get you from a bar cause you're too drunk to drive or because you just wanted someone to talk to.... yeah, this is payback!  Was definitely feeling let down tonight by friends.  To those that allowed me to cry via text and didn't judge me, thank you tons... you have no idea how much I just needed someone to understand/listen to my feelings of "falling apart".  To all of my fellow bloggers with new babies, I hope that if you're struggling with emotions and emotional baby's that you have someone to reach out to!  Tomorrow is another day, and hopefully it will be much easier with far less tears (both his and mine!).

surviving

All I can say is that bringing baby #3 into this family was much more difficult than #1 or #2 was!  You know how everyone tells you to "sleep when the baby sleeps"?  That is absolutely impossible.  I am beyond exhausted.  I feel like I'm adapting and my body is learning how to adjust to the little amounts of sleep that I get, but then I'll get a day (like today) that I feel like I can not possibly survive without some more sleep!

Hunter is 5 weeks old today, while he is adorable he is also a very time consuming baby.  My other babies would eat and then go to sleep, wake up to eat and go right back to sleep.  This made time for me very possible, I could shower, cook, EAT, go to the bathroom!  This little guy? yeah not so much.  He eats every 3 hours, on the dot.  After he eats (which takes 30 minutes) he will stay away for another 2 hours or so, screams until he finally falls asleep (which only lasts 30 minutes) and then wakes back up for his next feeding.  Thankfully he doesn't do this at night.  I put him down around 11pm and he'll sleep until about 7 or 8am, waking up every 3 hrs to eat of course!  It's exhausting.  On a positive, the last 2 mornings he's actually smiled at me, real "I know who you are" smiles.... makes it all worth it!

Logan (8) and Riley (3) have hit a turning point in their relationship, it's a little bit of a love/hate thing going on.  One minute they're friends, the next enemies.  It's more Logan, he's finally growing old enough to where he finds his 3yr old sibling annoying.  Makes this mama sad! :(  So those few times that Hunter will actually take a nap, I'm left spending that time breaking up fights between the older boys.

Yesterday we had a good day though, I was able to take all the kids and got the bigger boys hair cut.  They looked so handsome I decided I should break out my fancy camera and take some pictures with it.... it's amazing how much dust has gathered on that camera bag since I've become so fond of my iPhone! LOL  Here are some of my favorites from our mock photo shoot!