failing?

As a friend reminded me tonight, this too shall pass.... I sure wish it would pass sooner rather than later.  Let's just say that if either of my first two babies would have been like this new baby, wow, well this new baby wouldn't be here.  He is tough.  Just tonight I endured 4 hours of screaming before he would finally fall asleep.  -yes, I had burped, fed, changed, etc-  Hunter is by far my most difficult baby. First of all he requires being held pretty much 24/7.  This week I have managed to get him to take about a 2 hour nap in his bouncy seat or swing, score!  Tonight though, wow, I have never felt more defeated as a mother.  Hunter finally fell asleep, aka passed out from complete exhaustion.  Me? Well I of course immediately looked for someone to share a beer with after that disaster of an evening.  Where did it get me? Sitting on my back deck, alone, just me, my Bud Light and Pandora.  Heads up to my friends, when I text you saying I need a beer, that is cue for you to come to my rescue.  Whether you're in bed or not, that is my way of reaching out for someone to help pull me back up from my self pity!  Remember all those times in the last year that you called me at 3am to come get you from a bar cause you're too drunk to drive or because you just wanted someone to talk to.... yeah, this is payback!  Was definitely feeling let down tonight by friends.  To those that allowed me to cry via text and didn't judge me, thank you tons... you have no idea how much I just needed someone to understand/listen to my feelings of "falling apart".  To all of my fellow bloggers with new babies, I hope that if you're struggling with emotions and emotional baby's that you have someone to reach out to!  Tomorrow is another day, and hopefully it will be much easier with far less tears (both his and mine!).