Thursday, December 16, 2010

ba hum bug

i am officially scrooge...
well maybe not that bad but i swear there is no holiday spirit inside of me. 
i'm looking and looking but it has avoided me this year.
normally when it comes to christmas spirit, i am the epitome of it.
seriously, i listen to christmas music the day after halloween, i watch abc, hallmark, lifetime, anything that may possibly have a christmas movie on it. 
i.love.christmas.
but this year... i'm doing all of the same things but i couldn't even begin to be excited about the holidays.
i think it all started right before thanksgiving.
the hubs learned he'd be going back to work, however he'd be working nights.
so... thanksgiving day came, we went to my parents as usual, ate, and then after eating he had to leave to come home and sleep.  
i brought the kids home just in time to say goodbye to him, and he was off.
for the next 3 nights.
our first nights away from each other.
our shopping time together is on the weekends.
well we only have logan every other weekend, so our time is limited as a family.
after working nights the hubs went and worked a few saturdays... so of course there went our family time.
my favorite family tradition is that within a few days of thanksgiving we all go to a hallmark store and buy a new ornament. 
we still haven't done that yet  :(
now this week and next week hubs is working nights again. 
he leaves at 6pm and gets home around 5am.
sleeps until 3 normally, showers, eats dinner with us, and back on the road again.
it's tough on me, tough on the kids.
poor logan is so funny, he got upset the other night and said "it's not fair that sage has to work all night while the rest of the world is asleep!".
aren't kids adorable?!
so to add to my gloominess i got a phone call from logan's principal today, apparently logan either tried to take another boys bracelet (he claims he was just looking, we'll never know the truth i'm sure) - anyway the other boy punched logan in the face.
great.
the other boy is a problem child, logan adores him but he is a bad influence.
held back a year already due to behavioral issues.
talks about burning the school down, etc.
a real great influence.
so we got to deal with that tonight.
onto happier times, or so i thought.
tomorrow is logan's class "Polar Express" party, they worked towards the party for 2 months, have to earn points for behavior etc in order to have the party.
once they get the clear for the party, they get to wear pj's to school, bring a blanket, pillow & stuffed animal.
cool right?
they have done a party once back in october and i remember logan being so excited for it.
so tonight i was trying to plan out our morning, logan won't be wearing his pj's to school tomorrow.
and he won't be taking his blanket (it's a thomas the train big fleece blanket my mom made for him years ago)
apparently the last time they had a party he got made fun of for his pj's (superman) and his blanket.
my heart just ached for him tonight, he looked so sad.
he's growing up so quickly and i really hate how mean kids are.
i remember growing up being tough but i sure don't remember it being this early.
i vividly remember kids being mean in 5th grade but nothing before that.
how about you? how was it being a kid for you? and what the heck can i do for my child to help him through these times? and how on earth am i gonna get my christmas spirit when i feel so sad?  i know i know, be thankful for what we have. 2 healthy kids, my husband is working, i have graduated.... pretty selfish of me to ask for more i know... :(

5 comments:

Shannon said...

Not selfish at all! It's a stressful time for everyone. When the day gets here, sit back, relax, and enjoy it with your family!

As far as Logan goes... I can't help much on that one. I do know that my brother was sorta bullied in elementary school. It ended up giving him ulcers because he was so worried about going to school. Just encourage Logan to be a good kid and praise him for all of the good things. Since he doesn't want to participate in the PJs/blanket thing at school, why not rent a fun Christmas Movie (I recommend Jingle All The Way) and cuddle with your boys in your PJs with your blankies at home?

Keep your chin up, dear! Take a step back and look at all of the good in your life and try not to focus on the bad. Take care :o)

Biz Dickmeyer said...

I can totally relate with you about your husband working nights. My husband has worked nights for the last 3 years. Meanwhile we have had our first daughter and our second daughter is due any day. It does get long and lonely being home without him but I have to remind myself of the alternative (no job).

I also teach elementary (1st grade) and kids can be cruel. I would encourage you to just keep loving your son. One motto we have in my classroom is mind over matter. Those other kids will come around sometime and if they don't we know where they will end up. I would celebrate your son and what matters to him. I like Shannon's idea of doing something special with him at home. A lot of the kids who act like bullies are jealous of the kids they are bullying and wish they could have lives like their'.

~The South Dakota Cowgirl~ said...

I don't remember kids being mean to me until about the end of fifth grade and then it lasted through seventh grade. It was awful. I would come home every afternoon and cry. I'm no help. Sorry.

BrownEyed Cowgirls said...

Look at it this way...If you didn't miss your husband...You would know something was seriously wrong...Right?

Chin up girl. I think there are a lot of people who aren't bursting with the holiday spirit. Sometimes low-key ends up adding a more satisfying experience than a bunch of hype that ends up leaving a person feeling flat.

Stephanie in Suburbia said...

Oh, man, I feel your pain about the husband. Mine has been working about 60 hours a week lately. I can never make weekend plans for us. And when we do, it's always to make up for missing a dinner or something with someone else. Awhile ago my friends and I decided rather than buy gifts, we'd just go out for Christmas. Well, we've had to cancel half of those and then made them up this last week and it's been EXHAUSTING! We never have time alone together and it gets to me at the holiday times, especially. It's hard to be merry when you're wanting to watch Christmas specials with the whole family, and instead he's never home before the baby is in bed. It's very sad. I hope you guys can carve out family time. Like I said before, go shopping online and have a glass of wine together! Enjoy each other as much as you can.

As for Logan, that sounds rough. I really dread the school stage. Recently I went to a neighbor's birthday. She was turning 9. 8 of her friends RSVPd. None of them showed up. It was HEARTBREAKING. I do not know how to deal with that level of sadness as a parent.