Tuesday, June 29, 2010

finally no humidity!

This post has nothing to do with humidity, however the last 2 days have been so beautiful I figured I had to mention it somewhere!

Here's my problem, please people give me advice! Lately I've gotten about zilch comments, am I boring people? I know life isn't exciting right now but has it been that bad?! If yes, then don't answer! ;-)

Problem:
I am a stay at home mom during the summer.
I live less than 3 blocks from my sister's house.
She is a stay at home mom during the summer.
She has a weekend job.
She has opted to start working 2 days during the week.
She assumes I don't mind keeping her 3 daughters during those days.
Her work hours are from 10-2.
She never shows up to get her kids until after 3 because she goes to run or whatever.
Her kids are not angels.
I like a quiet house.
Her kids are not quiet.
They eat as if they are teenage boys.
I am having a hard time affording to keep up with their appetites.
One child in particular has severe ADHD, constantly lies, and tends to be mean.

So what do I do? Some may say, just tell your sister that you'd rather not keep her kids so frequently. I must say that my sister can hold a grudge like none other. For example: about 3 years ago I had a pair of shoes that she wanted. They were new. They did not fit me right so I was willing to sell them to her for less than I paid. She got mad that I would charge her, she didn't speak to me for 3 months. Literally.not.one.word.

To be honest there is no reason that I can't keep her kids except for selfishly I just don't want to! On the other hand if I have a dr's appointment she does keep my kids for me to get to that. So that is nice and I'd be bummed to lose that, however I could always find a sitter.
Something irritating though, they show up loud, hungry (at 10am), and still in their pajamas. Sometimes no shoes.
I have a car that fits 5 but with 2 carseats in the back seat getting that 3rd body is nearly impossible. Plus none of the kids are old enough to sit in the front seat, and 2 of her 3 kids still by law should be in booster seats. Obviously this leaves a problem. I can't leave my house! What if there is an emergency?

I guess what is most frustrating is that she never offers money to help pay for all of this extra food that I go through when they're here. She waits until 10:30 the night before to ask me to keep her kids. And she always shows up more than an hour late in a different outfit (casual) than what she went to work in. Am I being played here? Used?

Advice P.L.E.A.S.E, what is a person to do?
Am I just being selfish? or worse, bitchy?

7 comments:

Peanut said...

Hi Kristen,
I'm a new follower but I feel like I've know you forever. Dude I feel the same way sometimes when it comes to my sister. Personally I don't think your being selfish at all. You are being realistic. In every situation there is a compromise that should work for both people even if each person has to give up a little bit. I feel you should be honest with your sister and let her know you don't mind watching her kids and that you love her and them very much. However there are a few guidelines she needs to know. Like give her a set amount of money you might need for food for the kids or may be once a week you girls could go shopping and buy some snacks and food all kids will eat and split the bill. Let her know if she can't pick up the kids on time and pitch in for food then you may have to reconsider the amount of time you'll watch them for her. Lastly if she is taking advantage and doing other thing than working you should raise the question and ask her about her schedule. if she is going to the gym I'm sure they have a day care there.
Anywho when it comes down to it and you do decide to speak with her about it just remind her you love her family very much and you are willing to help to en extent. Good luck..this is advice people have given me in the past and truly I know it helps to hear it from other people.
Hang in there and I'll be following along to see the out come:)
cheers!

Kristen @ Miss Prissy Paige said...

I think its rude she doesn't offer money to help feed their mouths and doesn't show up on time to come get them. Its a tricky situation with it being your sister, but she's making money off you! She's working additional hours and still not having to pay for daycare or a sitter. Clearly, she's taking advantage of you. If I were you, I'd speak up and say something. You haven't done anything wrong in this situation.

Good luck!!

devin's mom said...

You are not being selfish. If she is bringing the kids on a regular basis and you are being nice enough not to charge then I would ask her to bring snacks or something since they are eating you out of house and home. When you double the amount of kids eating, that really makes a difference and its not fair that your sister would think this is okay. She is taking advantage of you and as uncomfortable as it might be, you need to talk to her.

Anonymous said...

She sounds like a very rude person. Family or not she should at least pay for the food they are eating. The mean kid would be strapped in a time out. Umm, not sure how legal that is. HA! Speak up before your whole summer is consumed with stress about this situation! Good luck!

Ms. Emily Ann said...

Hi, just found your blog.. and I must say your kids are adorable!! This sounds like a sticky situation, but I think its better to just talk to your sister and tell her how your feeling... which is completely reasonable. Plus, I always think it's better to discuss things before resentment starts to build..

Kim @ NewlyWoodwards said...

Sounds to me like you need to talk to your sister, woman to woman. I think expecting you to watch her kids twice a week is a bit presumptuous. I don't know your sister, but if you tell her that you need to set some ground rules, I don't think that's out of line. I think we do a lot for our family, and perhaps watching her children and she watching yours is part of that agreement. But, there has to be some respect, and perhaps that respect is that she gets the kids right after work instead of doing other things, gives some money for food and has them dressed and ready to go. And, I would just make sure that I'm doing the same for her when she's watching your kids.

靜宸靜宸 said...

成熟,就是有能力適應生活中的模糊。.................................................................