Thursday, May 21, 2009

MIL frustration

I first off want to say that I have a wonderful MIL.  This is my 2nd marriage and my 1st MIL was a complete nightmare.  So much so that she is STILL a nightmare to me and I'm no longer married to her son!  But back to my MIL, she's wonderful, great to talk to, I can tell her anything.  If you want someone to go party with she's your gal.  So my problem.... she lives 6 hrs away.  When she does make it down to visit we have to go see her.  Some people might think that's ok, but not me.  I have a 5 yr old son that granted isn't her "blood" grandson, but he calls her grandma and he's known her for 4 yrs.  Plus, she has a 7 mo old "blood" grandson that she's only seen twice.  This is the part that bothers me, we have to go see her... and going to see her means we have to go to a bar.  And the worst part of it, most of the time she comes to visit, she gets into town Friday and we don't hear from her until Saturday night telling us that she's here and that she's leaving in the morning. (Remember, we never even knew she was coming to town!)  So because it's late at night, and of course she's in a bar, my husband has to go see her there and I get to stay home with the kids.  Her friends that are from this town are so important to her that she goes to see them before us, and once she's there with them she becomes too intoxicated to go anywhere else.  So, they are getting into town around midnight tonight.  I am home all day with the kids tomorrow.  Do you think she's going to come see them?  NO!!!!  She is gonna go buy a new phone and visit with her friends.  My husband and I get to see her when we meet her at the bar tomorrow night.  So we've had to find a sitter for the night just so that we can see her.  Then, Saturday is my son's last soccer game.  He would love it if she would come watch him play.... do you think she's going to? Nope, she's gonna head out to the lake with her friends so she won't have time.  She'll be there Saturday and Sunday night, and then is heading back home Monday.  So here is my big question: When are you going to come see your grandkids!?  And not only that, your son!  The answer:  We'll have to take the kids to the lake over the weekend so that they can see "grandma".  Ugh the frustrations!

3 comments:

S. said...

That really sucks. I am so sorry.

Here is my take on all this:
Has your hubs talked to her about how inconvienent it is for you to see her and that she is not making her grandchildren a priority? He needs to be the one to open that can of worms. If she is still flakey...
Give her a taste of her one medicine. If she comes to town, tell her you have plans and need more time to plan, be it for a sitter (which SHOULD NOT be the case) or a soccer game, bbq, whatever. Make HER work around YOUR plans. If she can't do it, then just say no. If she loves you and your fam as much as it sounds like she does, then she will come around...

good luck!!

Elizabeth said...

That is ridiculous, totally. But let me just say that sometime we will have a little chat about my MIL and I PROMISE you, you will feel so much better! :) Mine is living with us (as you know) and causes problems at our house daily. Hang in there. I agree with S - that would be a good plan.

Taryn said...

That is totally ridiculous! I am sorry. I know you like her- but she is being totally selfish. Maybe she doesn't realize it, but maybe you guys (your husband) should just bring it up. I don't know- that totally stinks.